Coaching for the modern single woman

Not sure what you want? No problem. request consult

What do you want in your work, relationships, and in your life? Not sure? No problem.

That’s what my coaching helps you do. I help you get clear on what you want and support you by helping create a practical, creative, action-oriented path to getting there through what I call “playwork.” We will make it fun even.

As the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (Harper San Francisco, 2004) and the founder of the QA movement (which I launched back in 2000), I’ve always taken a stand for single women. I’ve helped thousands of single women. . . facing the same questions you are.

  • Is there something wrong with me because I’ve been single for so long?
  • What do I even want? I know what I’m supposed to want, but what do I really want?
  • At what point do I go for it and do what I want to do? Am I waiting for a partner to start my life?

You tried to work through this yourself but have remained stuck in the status quo.

You may have tried to address these issues in various ways. The therapist was okay, but you just vented and didn’t see the change you long for.

Self-help books have strategies but you never do them and they are not tailored for you and your unique needs and personality. Not to mention, a self-help book can’t hold you accountable.

Talking to friends is good but there are things or a certain depth of things you can’t expect them to take on.

A fortune teller or private Facebook group might give you direction but it’s not a structured process to keep you accountable and help you make change.

I’m glad you came here. I can help. I offer a creative alternative to therapy that can help you start living your full life now (not later)…

Through my coaching practice, I provide a unique, deep, creative, and action-oriented alternative to therapy to help you make lasting change.

We will start by getting clear about the goals of our working together, and then I will help you to achieve those goals step-by-step. Coaching with me revolves around personal goals that we come up with together, so your results are also personal.

Between sessions you will be doing “playwork.” This is a personalized process and accountability you’ve been needing to help make these changes tangible and real in your life.

My coaching is unlike any therapy you’ve done, and it’s pretty different from what most life coaches offer too. I also bring in my skills as a writer and memoirist. I help you to revisit and change the story you are telling yourself about you and your life. The new story we cocreate changes how you talk to yourself, and what becomes possible for you.

I help you with:

  • feeling comfortable and confident being single
  • getting clear on what a healthy successful (“quirkytogether”) relationship looks like for you
  • getting clear on your goals in life and career and give you support to take the risks necessary to achieve them
  • empowering you with self-respect and self-care so you are living a nourished, turned-on life from a place of pleasure
  • letting go of baggage and conditioning around sex and sensuality so you feel empowered and in touch with your sensuality

I believe that what happens in the bedroom and how you feel in your body whether you are having sex with a partner or not greatly influences your confidence and turn-on as you go about living in the world, so we talk about that too!

No matter what goals you choose to focus on, I will help you to stay true to yourself.

Here are some examples of real-life problems and situations I have helped clients with:

  • shortening the duration, negotiating, and moving on from a divorce with the best settlement possible and a clear sense of the life you want now. You planned your future as a couple, now I help you plan your future for yourself.
  • letting go of baggage and insecurities around being single so you can fully enjoy your life now and start enjoying your weekends and creating life on your own terms with friends and activities that allow you to grow your passions, and eventually attract the right partner
  • letting go of moral judgments and conditioning around sex and sensuality so you can explore a healthy sexuality on your own terms with healthy boundaries and clear communication
  • pivoting in your career in your thirties or forties to do things that light you up and feel true to you while getting paid well to do the work
  • taking the risk to move to a new city to create the life you really want

 

Self-worth is always a theme of our work. I will not let you settle in a so-so life, work, or sell yourself short for scraps in a relationship.

When you work with me, you will get:

  • Support to take risks to find out what really lights you up, so you are living life to the fullest
  • Personalized guidance from a woman who has a fierce will to live life to the fullest and has broken the mold in her own life.
  • A coach and guide who is independent minded: someone who’s not lockstep with any set societal idea of what life should be, who can help free you from conventional thinking to find what is really true and right for you.

My coach training comes from CTI, the largest coach-training institute in the world, and I supplement this with my decades of experience supporting quirkyalone women and men, along with training in memoir, writing as healing (the Hero’s Journey), tantra, female sexuality, tango, psicotango, and trauma healing.

I’m definitively a coach by training and approach, but many clients call me their therapist because of the depth of our conversations and the support you receive. One client told me, “I had a psychologist and a pleasure coach, but I’d prefer to talk with you weekly.”

Watch this video to get a sense of me and my coaching style. . . and how I’ll help you Get Wet!

Playwork

Along with our twice-monthly Skype sessions, we co-create your “playwork.”

Playwork is where the rubber hits the road. These are totally personalized practices and assignments to help you practice step-by-step what we talk about in our Skype sessions.

Often the playwork involves writing and reflection, or it’s some sort of practical step, creative project, or conversation to help you advance our goals in the real world.

Each piece of playwork is a baby step, and over time, these baby steps add up to big changes.

Some examples of playwork:

  • facing a fear
  • punching pillows
  • going to a salsa class
  • pussy-focused walking (you’ll learn what this is)
  • rewriting a dating profile
  • a challenging conversation
  • doing art (making a collage)
  • going to events and reporting back
  • looking in a mirror and saying I’m valuable
  • list of things you are proud about in a certain area
  • presentations, look over a pitch, or practicing a pitch

The playwork is all assigned/based on the therapeutic work we do during the Skype sessions. It will be based on your dreams, real-life interpersonal conflicts, inner conflicts, limiting beliefs, problems that need creative solutions, things you have been procrastinating on or are afraid to do, beliefs that aren’t serving you, and so on.

Don’t forget: I’m also the one who wrote a book on to-do lists, so we use that framework to turn your desired changes into a series of baby steps that make this all a series of doable things you will be checking off on your list, one-by-one. 

My clients 

My clients tend to be women who are highly educated and want to life a fully expressed life whether they are single or coupled. 

My clients range in ages from twentysomething to sixtysomething, and they live all over the world: the U.S., Europe, Canada, Australia, and South America. The best part about working via Skype is that you can live anywhere. We find a time that works for both of us to talk twice a month, and you can do this work from the comfort of your own home, or anywhere you have a private space (such as a conference room at work).

Many are academics, creative types, in business as entrepreneurs, or working in government or nonprofits. Most either identify with being or enjoy the quirkyalone concept, and feel “quirky” in some way. Some like the idea of being “wet.”

In addition to my monthly coaching services, I also offer tango therapy and self-marriage coaching and consulting. You don’t have to explore either of these with me, but they can definitely be fun and creative ways to deepen our work together. My tango therapy offers a space to reflect on all of the tango-life connections they find through the dance whether you are a beginner or a more experienced  dancer and can include experiences in Buenos Aires. We use tango as a metaphor in our work on the rest of your life, and that’s very powerful.

Self-marriage is an amazing way to create a ritual to seal the deal on your commitment to love yourself, and if this notion is calling you, we can include it as part of our coaching.

Client stories

As a result of working with Sasha, my confidence in myself was sky-high: I changed careers, restarted dating in an open/honest way and I joined a local tango community. I owe much of my new outlook on life and ways of interacting with others to Sasha. I have peace, satisfaction and a true view of my worth. If you are stuck or just can’t get rid of a nagging feeling that your life is moving by without you, Sasha can help.”

Carissa Giblin 

Tampa, Florida

“’I’ve worked with a coach for 10 years—working with Sasha has taken coaching to a new level. Aside from the fact that Sasha is the first woman to ask me to listen to my pussy — as well as my mind, heart and gut— Sasha has a unique style of coaching. She assigns “playwork” which she reads thoroughly before and after sessions, which makes sessions less of a “catch-up” and more of a “dig in.” Sasha isn’t a “yes person”— she challenges you, keeps you on track, always in a compassionate and collaborative way.”

Carrie

Asheville, NC

I’d done therapy in the past, but working with Sasha felt more actionable and relatable. Now, I’m actually dating, which is completely new for me. I’m meeting new people more frequently, too. If you are considering working with Sasha, DO IT (all capital letters and tons of emphasis)! You will see so much change in a short amount of time. Sasha has a gift for helping people quickly realize what they want and why they’re holding themselves back from getting it.”

Lauren

San Francisco

Sasha has supported my emotional and creative growth in many ways. We have discussed a wide range of topics including relationships, work-life balance, creativity, nonviolent communication, ambivalence about raising a child, and being authentic. I learned new skills and tools through our sessions, which have been more effective than my previous experiences with talk therapy and life coaching. I have grown significantly through working with Sasha. I highly recommend working one-on-one with her.”

Grace

Berkeley, Calif.

I was intrigued when Sasha said that when you explore sexuality it impacts all areas of life, I was coming out of a long marriage with an incompatible partner. I had a typical English reserved feeling toward sexuality; everything is very unspoken. Sasha easily picked up on what I was saying. The top thing I learned by working with Sasha is to value sex. Now I’m having the best sex of my life!”

Jeannette

London

Sasha practices what she preaches, really diving into learning about her own life and using those experiences to help people change their lives to be more in alignment with who they *really* are. She is adventurous, wise, and willing to be vulnerable in her work and coaching which for me, is HUGE. I don’t really trust people with my personal information who aren’t vulnerable themselves.”

Lindsay Chrisler 

Berkeley, Calif.

I began working with Sasha at a time of transition. I had left my job, run off to live and work at a yoga retreat center. When I returned to the Bay Area, I needed help integrating all that I had learned into a new framework. Sasha guided me with wisdom, compassion, and humor, helping me to continue to make small shifts, set manageable goals, and to practice self-care. I strongly recommend working with Sasha as a life coach. Whether you’re struggling with relationships, languishing in old patterns, or making some major life changes, Sasha has the skills and experience to meet you where you are.”

Ivy 

Oakland, Calif.

Get started

Request Initial Consult

Want to explore coaching with me? Tell me a little bit about you and what you want to focus on or get help with.

I work with clients in the U.S., Europe, and South America via phone or Skype, so you can live anywhere in the world. Because we work via Skype or phone, you can do this work from the comfort of home or work (if you have a private space during the workday).

I read your answers to the request consult form. As long as I believe I can help you based on your answers, we will set up a time to talk via phone or Skype for about 20 minutes to get to know each other. I’ll ask you some questions to find out more about you and what you want to explore or achieve and explain how coaching with me works. Then we can decide if it’s a good fit.

I look forward to “meeting” you! The first step is to fill out the form below.

 

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