Coaching for the modern single woman drawing on Quirkyalone + Wet
As the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (Harper San Francisco, 2004) and the founder of the QA movement (which I launched back in 2000), I have deep experience helping thousands of single women. . . facing the same issues and questions you are.
Getting clear on what you really want in your life and relationships–as opposed to what you are supposed to want.
Leaving a so-so or bad relationship to move to the next phase.
Dating. Or not dating.
Creating a career or business that sustains you along with the daily routine that supports you
Shedding the baggage and insecurities that keep you caught in self-doubt
Enjoying your sexuality and expressing your sensual side. And not just in the bedroom.
I offer a creative alternative to therapy that can help you start living your full life now (not later)…
Through my coaching practice, I provide a unique, deep, creative, and action-oriented alternative to therapy to help you make lasting change.
We will start by getting clear about the goals of our working together, and then I will help you to achieve those goals step-by-step.
Between sessions you will be doing “playwork.” This is a personalized process and accountability you’ve been needing to help make these changes tangible and real in your life.
My coaching is unlike any therapy you’ve done, and it’s pretty different from what most life coaches offer too. I also bring in my skills as a writer and memoirist. I help you to revisit and change the story you are telling yourself about you and your life. The new story we cocreate changes how you talk to yourself, and what becomes possible for you.
I help you with:
- feeling comfortable and confident being single at any decade (this includes letting go of “single shame” and finding what lights you up, single or not)
- moving through breakups and divorce as you define your next steps and your life going forward
- getting clear on what a healthy successful (“quirkytogether”) relationship looks like for you
- getting clear on your goals in life, career and business as I give you feedback and support to take the risks necessary to achieve them
- empowering you with self-respect and self-care so you are living a nourished, turned-on life from a place of pleasure
- letting go of baggage and conditioning around dating, sex and sensuality so you feel empowered and in touch with your sensuality
No matter what goals you choose to focus on, I will help you to stay true to yourself.
Here are some examples of real-life problems and situations I have helped clients with:
- Clarifying your statement of purpose–and your “sizzle”–in your career or business as you pivot to the next phase
- shortening the duration, negotiating, and moving on from a divorce with the best settlement possible and a clear sense of the life you want now. You planned your future as a couple, now I help you plan your future for yourself.
- letting go of baggage and insecurities around being single so you can fully enjoy your life now and eventually attract the right partner
- letting go of moral judgments and conditioning around sex and sensuality so you can explore a healthy sexuality on your own terms with healthy boundaries and clear communication. This includes everything from sex with a committed partner to exploring “friends with benefits” for the first time.
- taking the risk to move to a new city to create the life you really want
- looking at why you have been single for a long time–and what’s stopping you from dating
Self-worth is always a theme of our work. I will not let you settle in a so-so life, work, or sell yourself short for scraps in a relationship.
When you work with me, you will get:
- Support to take risks to find out what really lights you up, so you are living life to the fullest
- Personalized guidance from a woman who has a fierce will to live life to the fullest and has broken the mold in her own life.
- A coach and guide who is independent minded: someone who’s not lockstep with any set societal idea of what life should be, who can help free you from conventional thinking to find what is really true and right for you.
My coach training comes from CTI, the largest coach-training institute in the world, and I supplement this with my decades of experience supporting quirkyalone women and men, along with training in memoir, writing as healing (the Hero’s Journey), tantra, female sexuality, tango, psicotango, and trauma healing.
I’m definitively a coach by training and approach, but many clients call me their therapist because of the depth of our conversations and the support you receive. One client told me, “I had a psychologist and a pleasure coach, but I’d prefer to talk with you weekly.”
My career has been a story of one creative project after the next (books, companies, a magazine, and so on) and I bring that same creative spirit to my coaching as we cocreate your life. Coaching with me is a creative space.
As we look at the beliefs and stories that have kept you stuck, we also cocreate your path forward with systems, structures, and “life hacks” that will be unique to you. (Quirkyness is another prong of my coaching philosophy–each person is different, so we are going to dig in and find what works for you.)
In this way, coaching with me is very results-oriented.
Along with our twice-monthly Skype sessions, we co-create your “playwork.”
Playwork is where the rubber hits the road. These are totally personalized practices and assignments to help you practice step-by-step what we talk about in our Skype sessions.
Often the playwork involves writing and reflection, or it’s some sort of practical step, creative project, or conversation to help you advance our goals in the real world.
Each piece of playwork is a baby step, and over time, these baby steps add up to big changes.
Some examples of playwork:
- Creating a checklist to guide your yes or no for a decision (on a date, or an opportunity)
- facing a fear, such as having a tough conversation with communication strategies you learn from me
- punching pillows to release anger
- going to a salsa class to explore sensuality
- pussy-focused walking (you’ll learn what this is)
- rewriting a dating profile to get clear on what you really want
- doing art (making a collage) to envision the type of relationship you really want
- going to networking events and reporting back on conversations
- looking in a mirror and saying I’m valuable
- list of things you are proud about in a certain area
- presentations, look over a pitch, or practicing a pitch
The playwork is all assigned/based on the therapeutic work we do during the Skype sessions. It will be based on your dreams, real-life interpersonal conflicts, inner conflicts, limiting beliefs, problems that need creative solutions, things you have been procrastinating on or are afraid to do, beliefs that aren’t serving you, and so on.
Don’t forget: I’m also the one who wrote a book on to-do lists, so we use that framework to turn your desired changes into a series of baby steps that make this all a series of doable things you will be checking off on your list, one-by-one.
My clients tend to be women who are highly educated and want to life a fully expressed life whether they are single or coupled.
My clients range in ages from twentysomething to sixtysomething, and they live all over the world: the U.S., Europe, Canada, Australia, and South America. The best part about working via Skype is that you can live anywhere. We find a time that works for both of us to talk twice a month, and you can do this work from the comfort of your own home, or anywhere you have a private space (such as a conference room at work).
Many are academics, creative types, in business as entrepreneurs, or working in government or nonprofits. Most either identify with being or enjoy the quirkyalone concept, and feel “quirky” in some way. Some like the idea of being “wet.” Wet is a metaphor that I am working with in my new book that is all about being in touch with your body’s desires to help guide your choices in life.
“As a result of working with Sasha, my confidence in myself was sky-high: I changed careers, restarted dating in an open/honest way and I joined a local tango community. I owe much of my new outlook on life and ways of interacting with others to Sasha. I have peace, satisfaction and a true view of my worth. If you are stuck or just can’t get rid of a nagging feeling that your life is moving by without you, Sasha can help.”
“’I’ve worked with a coach for 10 years—working with Sasha has taken coaching to a new level. Aside from the fact that Sasha is the first woman to ask me to listen to my pussy — as well as my mind, heart and gut— Sasha has a unique style of coaching. She assigns “playwork” which she reads thoroughly before and after sessions, which makes sessions less of a “catch-up” and more of a “dig in.” Sasha isn’t a “yes person”— she challenges you, keeps you on track, always in a compassionate and collaborative way.”
“I’d done therapy in the past, but working with Sasha felt more actionable and relatable. Now, I’m actually dating, which is completely new for me. I’m meeting new people more frequently, too. If you are considering working with Sasha, DO IT (all capital letters and tons of emphasis)! You will see so much change in a short amount of time. Sasha has a gift for helping people quickly realize what they want and why they’re holding themselves back from getting it.”
“Sasha has supported my emotional and creative growth in many ways. We have discussed a wide range of topics including relationships, work-life balance, creativity, nonviolent communication, ambivalence about raising a child, and being authentic. I learned new skills and tools through our sessions, which have been more effective than my previous experiences with talk therapy and life coaching. I have grown significantly through working with Sasha. I highly recommend working one-on-one with her.”
“I was intrigued when Sasha said that when you explore sexuality it impacts all areas of life, I was coming out of a long marriage with an incompatible partner. I had a typical English reserved feeling toward sexuality; everything is very unspoken. Sasha easily picked up on what I was saying. The top thing I learned by working with Sasha is to value sex. Now I’m having the best sex of my life!”
“Sasha practices what she preaches, really diving into learning about her own life and using those experiences to help people change their lives to be more in alignment with who they *really* are. She is adventurous, wise, and willing to be vulnerable in her work and coaching which for me, is HUGE. I don’t really trust people with my personal information who aren’t vulnerable themselves.”
“I began working with Sasha at a time of transition. I had left my job, run off to live and work at a yoga retreat center. When I returned to the Bay Area, I needed help integrating all that I had learned into a new framework. Sasha guided me with wisdom, compassion, and humor, helping me to continue to make small shifts, set manageable goals, and to practice self-care. I strongly recommend working with Sasha as a life coach. Whether you’re struggling with relationships, languishing in old patterns, or making some major life changes, Sasha has the skills and experience to meet you where you are.”
You can also read reviews on Yelp here.
You tried to work through this yourself but have remained stuck in the status quo.
You may have tried to address these issues in various ways. The therapist was okay, but you just vented and didn’t see the change you long for.
Self-help books have strategies but you never do them and they are not tailored for you and your unique needs and personality. Not to mention, a self-help book can’t hold you accountable.
Talking to friends is good but there are things or a certain depth of things you can’t expect them to take on.
A fortune teller or private Facebook group might give you direction but it’s not a structured process to keep you accountable and help you make change.
Request Initial Consult
Want to explore coaching with me? Tell me a little bit about you and what you want to focus on or get help with.
I work with clients in the U.S., Europe, and South America via phone or Skype, so you can live anywhere in the world. Because we work via Skype or phone, you can do this work from the comfort of home or work (if you have a private space during the workday).
I read your answers to the request consult form. As long as I believe I can help you based on your answers, we will set up a time to talk via phone or Skype for about 20 minutes to get to know each other. I’ll ask you some questions to find out more about you and what you want to explore or achieve and explain how coaching with me works. Then we can decide if it’s a good fit.
I look forward to “meeting” you! The first step is to fill out the form below.