Wet: A Memoir of My Life Churn
I’m at work on a memoir called Wet.
Here’s a summary of the book, written in the third person, but the third person is me.
Wet is a memoir about a touch-starved thirty-something woman who leaves a prestigious job in Silicon Valley with hopes of meeting a man in South America, but instead she meets tango.
Specifically, Wet is a memoir about a sex-positive woman who has written a cult book on singlehood (Quirkyalone) only to find that she really isn’t very happy about being “still single” at 35. So she escapes to another continent, where she hopes she will find love.
In South America, she has many sexual adventures and learns to embrace her body as it is, but she also feels tremendous guilt and shame when she has sex or makes out with men in casual relationships. She hits rock bottom when she allows her boundaries be crossed in a highly complicated relationship with a couple in Rio.
After Brazil, she heads to Colombia where she vows No More Men because although she says she wants love, all she ever does is get into complicated situations with unavailable people. She focuses on finding a passion instead, and that quest leads her to the many lessons of tango.
Back in California hearing an NPR report about adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the Penn State Case leads her to confront an incident of childhood sexual abuse that had a lasting impact of making her feel “dirty.”
She moves back to Buenos Aires to learn tango at the source as a path of healing. The book takes us through many sensual experiences of sex and tango, reminding us we are a body first and the body remembers.
Ultimately Wet is a story about healing shame and facing fear—realizing the past can no longer hurt you and you have nothing to fear.
Wet will be part of a tradition of books that look at the authentic female sexual experience. Ultimately Wet is a story of unlocking secrets through the body, of a woman creating her own formula for a meaningful life.
In many ways, Wet is the follow-up to Quirkyalone, but it’s a much more personal book. It’s a tale of self-love and healing, and also a journey of creating a life off the expected road map, unmarried, without a child, and off the corporate path.
The title is designed to make you blush. Wet is an homage to female sexuality that gets diminished in our culture into being a caricature, a performance.
Female sexuality is always more hidden and cloaked, more mysterious. To be wet is not nearly as obvious as a hard-on. The use of Wet is a nod to the messages that we can feel coursing through our bodies. Wet is about more than sex. It is about vitality and sensuality. It is about how we make decisions between security and risk, and how to open up to the things that scare us most. It’s about the blood coursing through us.
For a sneak preview, listen to this podcast.