What is self-marriage?
I’ve been a pioneer of the self-marriage movement by writing about in my 2004 book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. In the last few years I became the person just about everyone in the media called to explain what self-marriage is all about.
I married married myself 10 years later at age 40 as an an act of self-acceptance, witnessed by a handful of my closest, dearest friends, including one of my best friends–who had actually already married herself! In case you are wondering we both date and have relationships with men. I have my own set of feelings about marriage–but self-marriage is really simple. I am pro!
Self-marriage is not about being single or celibate. It’s a creative act of self-acceptance that helps you commit to yourself and what makes you happy.
Each person gets to define the meaning of the self-marriage for her or himself. That makes self-marriage a richly creative journey.
Some people say we shouldn’t need self-marriage. We should just be happy and love ourselves without making a big to-do about it. That’s great for you if self-marriage doesn’t call your soul. If you already have a fabulous relationship with yourself, fantastic!
But if self-marriage does call you, I can tell you, you are in for a treat!
You can read more about my perspective on marrying myself and helping other women marry themselves in these stories:
A Vogue interview, Why Women Are Choosing to Marry Themselves.
Cosmopolitan story: Why I married myself
My own essay describing my decision to marry myself, which surprised me, Why I Married Myself (No White Wedding Dress Required)
Here’s my perspective on self-marriage + my response to the haters that call self-marriage narcissistic.
See my self-marriage ceremony in the Japanese Gardens of Buenos Aires and hear me share my perspective on this mini-trend on ABC/Nightline.
Want to get help for your own self-marriage journey?
I help women (and men) with the self-marriage journey in my coaching practice. There are two ways for us to do this together.
- Work with me as a coaching client. I typically work with my clients on other topics such as recreating your life after divorce or a breakup, increasing your sense of self-worth, reinventing your career, or having more fun and enjoying life. As part of this work together we can incorporate our co-creation of your self-marriage ceremony, which could include as much as you want it to, from engagement to wedding to honeymoon. If that’s intriguing go to this page to request a consult and tell me more about you.
- Come on a Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires. I got married to myself in Buenos Aires in the Japanese Gardens and another client who came on a Tango Adventure with me and my team also married herself here. There’s something special about taking a trip and marrying yourself as part of the experience. If that calls your soul we’ll do some coaching before the Tango Adventure and I’ll be able to attend your ceremony here–and that’s pretty awesome. If getting married in Buenos Aires intrigues you fill out this questionnaire.