“The limits of my language means the limits of my world.”–Wittgenstein
I love words. I love creating and combining words. With a new set of vocabulary, we get to create our own culture.
With these words I hope to expand our notion of what’s possible. And I invite you to play along too by suggesting new words.
Here are some words I have created (or redefined):
definition to come
definition to come
definition to come
Quirkyalone (n., adj.)
A quirkyalone is a person who enjoys being single (or spending time alone) and so prefers to wait for the right person to come along rather than dating indiscriminately. Quirkyalones prefer to be single rather than settle.
Quirkyalones can also be married or in a committed relationship (quirkytogether). You can be a man or a woman, any age. Quirkyalone is ultimately a philosophy about finding happiness within yourself whether you’re single or in a relationship. The essence of quirkyalone is the inability to settle.
You can check out my Quirkyalone book here. This will be your gateway drug to the quirkyalone universe. After this, who knows, you may want to come to a gathering such as the Quirkyalones Together Conference, take an online class, learn tango with me in Buenos Aires to learn about how to learn quirkyaloneness and togetherness through your body . . or who knows what!
Quirkytogether (n., adj.)
Quirkytogether takes the quirkyalone ethos of holding out for true love and respecting the individual’s need for space and puts those values into a relationship context.
Two quirkytogether people want to be together more than they need to be together.
Quirkytogethers write their own rules for coupling. Common values tend to be authenticity, vulnerability, autonomy and independence as well as mutual support and deep connection (and some dependence too). It’s all about authenticity and vulnerability–you can’t be quirkytogether without bringing your full self to the encounter. You could even have a quirkytogether friendship too. You can read the “quirkytogether” chapter in Quirkyalone.
Since 2010, I have been obsessed with tango. And through tango, I have discovered the tangasm. A tangasm is not a climax in the way we think of an “orgasm.” There is no particular moment of release. The tangasm is not about how it looks, it’s about how it feels.
A tangasm is a moment of total connection coupled with full-body pleasure, bodies swirling with each other, breathing together, a union with the moment, your partner, the music, the room.
I have asked people about their tangasms and they tell me things like: “Losing all notion of time and space.” “You forget about everything and everyone.” “A peak experience.” “Traveling to another galaxy.” “Thoughts floating away.” “Being in flow.” “Embracing and breathing together.” “Dancing on a pink cloud.” “A spiritual practice.” This doesn’t mean you are sexually attracted to your partner, though you might be. You could feel a tangasm with someone of your same sex if you are heterosexual or even with your parent.
You can read about the tangasm in this essay, Is Tango Better than Sex?
You might even have a tangasm in Buenos Aires if you come on a Tango Bliss Adventure.
Todolistology describes the study of a person and his or her desires, neuroses, and personality, through her or his lists.
Watch me talk about what our to-do lists reveal about us in this authors@ google talk.
The concept of “wet” is something I have been developing through coaching women and through the writing of a memoir, which is still very much in process. Being wet is about being in tune with your body’s messages and reading its cues. Wet women know that their sexual energy is vitality and that you can be turned-on in and outside the bedroom. Being wet is not about traditional hotness. Being wet is much more about how it feels than how it looks. Being wet is a source of power and intuition. In a world where porn desecrates female sexuality, and pop culture and advertising routinely objectify women, being wet is an emphatic call to arms for women to not park their sexuality, but to feel it from the inside out as subjects rather than objects.
You can read about my investigations into wetness through my memoir here.