Coaching FAQ

Q: Who do you typically work with?
–thoughtful women (and some cool quirky men) who want to be happier and make a needed change in their lives, and that might look like getting clear about what you want in your love life or career, then creating it; feeling OK being single and reconnecting to yourself after divorce; welcoming in more self-love or closeness with others in your life if you feel lonely; quitting a job or starting a business to create the unconventional life you really want on your own terms; owning your authority in your career, or determining the next steps in your career
–single people who are have been single for a long time and are tired of this pattern who want to find a partner they would be excited to share their lives with
–single and partnered women who are disconnected from their sexuality, pleasure, and fun. I do this through one-on-one coaching that culminates in a Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires.

Q. Do you work with men?
A. Yes. The majority of my clients are women but I also enjoy working with the men who are drawn to my work and perspective.

Q: I’m curious but not sure about this whole life coaching thing. Can I try it out first?
A: We have an initial session on the phone to make sure that it makes sense for us to work together, that I believe I can help you, and you feel good with me. At that point, we choose to work together–or not.

Q: Do you do one-time sessions so I can try it out first? Or do you have a program?
A: Shifting deep beliefs and habits is no overnight matter. Most clients work with me for 3 months to a year or two at different degrees of intensity but I leave that choice up to you once you have completed the minimum requirement of 3 months. The first session is an assessment that you get a lot of value from in terms of clarity–getting clear on what you really want and a plan for how to get there. If you choose to work with me, the cost of that assessment applies to the package.

Q: What is your approach in coaching?
A: My coaching has some of the benefits of therapy, but it’s always concrete and forward-moving. My coaching assists you in three phases:
— we get to know you, where you are now, and identify what you really want
— we uncover what’s blocking you, we will explore your blind spots, and perspectives you may not have been considering
— we create the concrete “playwork” that will help you create the life you want, as I guide you to make this change real in your life
I will help you to get moving and stay moving! And we make it a ride that can be fun.
Coaching with me is a change process that goes beyond our sessions. We create concrete “playwork” as you play your way to the changes that you want. I share with you practical tools that you can use now and for the rest of your life to stay true to yourself. You practice these and report back to me.
I am neither a didactic/tough-love coach nor a passive listener. Instead you get lots of empathy, patience, wisdom, good humor, creative brainstorming, and compassion–and a very get-it-done attitude that gets you moving toward making real change in your life.

Q: Are you a licensed therapist? What is your training?
A: No. I am not a licensed mental health professional and do not provide psychotherapy, counseling, or any other mental health service that would require a license.

I provide coaching and education that results in substantial learning and transformation. My training is in CTI principles, the largest coach-training institute in the world, a model based on the belief that we are all naturally creative, resourceful and whole—completely capable of finding our own answers to whatever challenges we face. My coaching is also based on 15 years of writing and working with quirkyalones. I am a graduate of Columbia University.

I’ve also done extensive training in healthy female sexuality to help my clients in From No Sex to a Healthy Sex Life. I’m writing about all that in my new book Wet. No matter what the program, you will get a mix of mind and body perspectives to make positive changes that stick.

Q: How is this different than therapy?
A: Fundamentally, therapy focuses on self-understanding with equal emphasis on the present and the past that shaped you. In coaching, we will talk about your past to resolve whatever is holding you back, but we keep our attention on moving forward. Coaching is about resolving current issues holding you back and then making a plan to move forward and create the positive changes in your life. My process is educational and inspirational as well as practical and concrete, including many tools to help you achieve your goals and continue your growth after the coaching relationship is complete. Coaching is about action. There will be “playwork.”

Q: What happens in the individual sessions?
A: We talk on Skype/phone about what you want and how to achieve the results you’re looking for. Mostly, I help you move forward. I’ll teach you strategies to stay true to yourself and develop a new relationship to your fears that you will be able to use for the rest of your life. Sometimes I’ll have you do an exercise, a writing assignment, or other “playwork,” whatever the session calls for. I don’t follow any scripts or formulas because I believe each person is unique. I do have many exercises and books that I will give you based on you and your needs. I steer clear of lecturing/advice giving as well as being a passive listener. I like to be real with my clients. I am very honest with you and I ask you to be very honest with me. I ask you thought-provoking questions, give you a lot of support through the process. You’ll get a much better sense of my style and approach in the consultation.

Q: What if I don’t live near you?
A: I see my clients over Skype/phone. I have clients from all over the world who love the convenience of Skype/phone coaching.

Q. Will it work? Will I feel more confident dating/find my quirkytogether partner/take the career break I always wanted/write my book.
A. Often the act of signing up for something like a coaching program with me is a sign to yourself that you are committed and serious about change, and when you get my support as your coach, you will create changes much faster than if you continue to try to make these changes on your own. If I take you on as my client, I believe I can help you. If you show up to do your part, you will see change.

Q. What’s the first step?
A. If you’re curious and intrigued about working with me, the first step is to write me and we’ll determine if we are a good fit to work together; if so, we’ll set up a time for the initial assessment.