pussywalking’s media debut in Blood and Milk!
I’m thrilled to share with you the media debut of PUSSYWALKING with this excellent piece written by Maya Frost published in Blood and Milk, a fascinating website devoted to what it’s like to live inside a female body.
Maya and I had lunch in Buenos Aires and I filled in her on the history of pussywalking — how I discovered it myself on the way to a job interview in downtown San Francisco (that I subsequently nailed, rosy and glowing ;)!) and how I have been teaching it since 2014 in my Tango Adventure workshops and with my clients.
A number of you were kind enough to respond with your willingness to talk with Maya. She spoke with you about your experiences and uncovered a number of diverse benefits from pussywalking…from alleviating back pain to helping actors embody their stage presence…what a difference it makes to walk through life inhabiting our pussies!
Here’s that article again…
It’s a great one so please be in touch and let me know what you are discovering.
Pussywalk on into 2019.
P.S. I’d love to hear from you on the benefits you are experiencing from pussywalking after you give it a try–or two or three. If you haven’t already watched the videos, head to this page and be sure to sign up for my special pussywalking newsletter here. That way we will be especially connected for this conversation.
PPS For in-person support with your pussywalk, we are doing a group Tango Adventure May 4-10 and we have one spot left!
Though loneliness has become something of a hot topic in the media, I wonder how many of us would feel comfortable to say it out loud to another friend or loved one, “I’m lonely.”
Many of us are reluctant to admit to others when we feel lonely.
I know from my own life and working with quirkyalone/quirkytogether people that loneliness has particular dimensions for people who have been selective in their choices and spent many years being single.
We don’t talk about the loneliness of that path all that much–for example the loneliness of staring down a weekend with no plans.
We wind up feeling even more lonely alone when we don’t see our experience reflected back to us or discussed.
That’s why I was really glad when the therapist Laura Parker approached me and asked me to be a speaker in her online series Transforming Loneliness.
Laura who has been following quirkyalone for 15 years and I first talked over Skype to discuss the focus of our conversation.
We settled on the theme the loneliness of single shame, or of believing something is wrong with you if you have been single for years or just longer than you want to be.
I highly recommend you listen in. Generally when I do conversations with others on single shame it’s healing for someone out there.
This conversation can help you prepare for those awkward moments on dates when someone asks you how long it’s been since your last relationship.
Even more I hope this intimate conversation can help you feel more at peace as you gradually rid yourself of those nagging “there’s something wrong with me” voices in your head.
I remember evading questions on dates when men would ask me, So how long has it been since your last relationship? I felt marked–like something was wrong with me–because I had been single for years.
I’ve since helped many clients who have coped with similar feelings of shame so I know quite well by now single shame can be quite a “thing.”
In our conversation, I talked about my own experience of working through single shame to the end point of owning my story as a discerning quirkyalone and about my experiences helping others along that journey.
The interview is called “From Single Shame to Owning Your Story as a Discerning Quirkyalone.”
Our interview will be aired Saturday, February 23, 2019.
Laura’s series TRANSFORMING LONELINESS: Follow Your Heart’s Longing into Connection, Belonging, and Love will be available FREE from February 19 – 26.
Register now to get access at www.transforming-loneliness-event.com.
Once you register you’ll get a reminder from Laura about my talk so you will be all set.
Joe Yang, a tango teacher from Madison, Wisconsin, recently interviewed me for Joe’s Tango Podcast. Joe’s podcast is for people who are who are starting to fall in love with the dance of tango and want to learn from different experts in the field. I share a bit of my own tango story and talked about my work combining tango and life coaching through the Tango Adventure and with my one-on-one coaching clients who take up tango. We talked about my tango writing too (right now, I’m deep at work on my memoir Wet, which is a journey of healing the effects of trauma through sensual experiences, so tango plays a big role in the story).
We literally talked about all things tango. Joe started off asking me the moment/s I knew I wanted tango would be a big part of my life, and we got to talking about advice I would give beginning dancers. I’ll give you a little teaser with an answer to that last question: RELAX! Relaxing and being in the moment is the most important piece of advice I would give. How do you relax? Many people want the answer to be a glass of wine. There is a better answer. Surrender to the hug.
Here’s some of the other stuff we talked about:
- The transformative power of tango–tango has always been about way more than tango for me, and that’s how I teach it. Tango really is a mirror for our lives and how we operate in relationships
- Advice for beginners to enjoy a milonga
- The emotional roller coaster of being a beginning tango student (at least it was for me)
- Tango teaching philosophies: when you let go of being perfect, learning tango can be fun and easy
- The embrace! The essence of tango is the embrace; if you want to feel a true tango embrace, that’s a big reason to try tango in Buenos Aires
- Tango communities–what makes them good and what makes them snobby (the dark side of tango)
- Healing through tango! Tango’s healing power is really important to me. I’ve been exploring this topic for myself over the last seven years and using tango as a tool with my clients to heal the effects of sexual trauma in particular.
I shared a lot about the Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires too! If you’re interested in joining us and want to learn a bit more, definitely give this podcast a listen. I explain to Joe how I first got the idea to start the Tango Adventure from my own experience of healing through tango in many ways. I wanted to share the knowledge I’ve collected through a week-long immersion in Buenos Aires.
With us, you can learn the true essence of tango that goes beyond steps and in many ways you just can’t learn that anywhere else but Buenos Aires.
Here’s the podcast to give it a listen!
Listen on iTunes: http://apple.co/2eOGdlc
Or Soundcloud: http://bit.ly/2zYANMk
Or Stitcher: http://bit.ly/2xNrUWA
Chris Tyre over at the lovely blog Nomad + Camera interviewed me about why and how I chose to leave Silicon Valley tech stress for a more artistic life in South America. And how I got here. Plus you can read up on the tangasm. Why wouldn’t you want to read about that? Here’s the lovely Nomad + Camera interview that’s published today!
Chris Tyre interviews digital nomad types all over the world about how they have created new lives for themselves. The interviews are well worth reading.
Read the full interview here and read the other inspiring digital nomad stories too.
In the recording booth for the BBC World Service interview on lists!
I will forever be fascinated with lists: why we make them, what they reveal about us, how they help us, and how they control us.
Listen to this beautiful 18-minute radio documentary “Why We Make Lists” from the BBC World Service here. And then when you want to read the lists I read out loud during the piece be sure to check out my book To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us.
The secret to an interesting life is saying yes whenever possible. A strong, CLEAR no is important too. Without a strong no there is no yes.
But exercising your yes muscles even when you are fearful or in doubt will no doubt to lead to more magic and adventures. One thing leads to another.
Yesterday, my last day in Buenos Aires. I was packing and preparing for my friends to come over to watch the Argentina-Holland semifinal game when I got an email from a producer at HuffPost Live. His Argentine superfan had disappeared and he needed a fan from Buenos Aires to do a live chat faceoff with a Dutch fan.
He wanted blue and white face paint and an Argentina jersey for the interview, and I had to say, I don’t have those things! I was honest with him and I will be honest with you. I know very little about football. I am no superfan. I know more than most Americans, probably, because I was living in Rio de Janeiro four years ago for the World Cup (such wild passion), and I was in Argentina for this World Cup (such luck!). But I am by no means the person to tell you about “what we can expect from Messl” (the top player in Argentina and maybe the world) in the game.
Regardless, I said, “Sure, why not? But tell me what you are going to ask me.” In the next mail, I said, “Just don’t ask me about the players, ask me about the mood and the passion in Buenos AIres.” Cultural observation I can do. Connecting football to politics I can do. So I commented on the World Cup in HuffPost Live. My brother Dan is an actual sports reporter who covers the Boston Bruins and I found it amusing that now I can call myself a sports commentator too.
Watch my debut as a traveling sports reporter above.
What does saying yes to this opportunity mean? Who knows?
But it’s fun to say yes. It makes life more interesting and opens the door to more magic and adventures. When have you said yes?
By the way, I want to remind you I am teaching this one-day writing workshop Writing Your Hero’s/Heroine’s Journey at the San Francisco Writers Grotto Saturday, August 2.
Perhaps these are the stories of when you have said yes and what you learned. Would love to see you in this class to hear your story, whether you’re blogging, writing an essay or a book.
Check out the class details here and take advantage of this opportunity while I am back in the States!
Here’s me talking about spinsters, old maids, and how our ideas about being single have changed on this Quirkyalone Day 2013 on a wonderful hourlong NPR show out of Illinois. This was a great conversation with lots of smart callers calling in about cross-cultural ideas about singlehood and coupling, the birth rate, how we treat older people who live alone and how our society must step up to the plate to support them more, and much more.
The host asked me what would happen when I do find my soul mate. . . will this be the end of the road for quirkyalone?
I told him I will model quirkytogetherness with my partner. I talk about my ideal quirkytogether union at the end.
Here’s the show. Give it a listen and enjoy.
A journalist from Chile who works for La Tercera sent me interview questions for a story she is writing on lists (since I am the author of To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us and the “world’s leading todolistologist” :). Once her story is published, I will share it. I also thought I would share my answers with you. Especially because I am planning to offer an upcoming todolistology course; this might inspire you and you might want to join me. To stay in the loop and find out more about the course, please sign up here.
Why do we need to make checklists?
New Year’s Resolutions of a Brooklyn 16-Year-Old Girl, 1956
We make to-do lists because we would be lost without them. We have too many things to do to remember them all. Writing a list relieves anxiety because we record everything we have to remember and get done. Once it’s down on the list, we can stop worrying about it so much.
Why people still prefer the tactile experience of writing their lists with pen and paper?
Although I use an online to-do list program Things, I am still a huge believer in writing a list with pen and paper. Eighty-nine percent in my listmaker survey also prefer writing lists with pen and paper. The tactile experience of writing a list in your own handwriting is a chance to settle down and detach from the infinity of the Internet and settle into yourself, to feel more grounded. Now you are in own world, thinking about what you need to today, tomorrow, or in this lifetime.
A list written in your own handwriting is more personal, like a contract with yourself. It carries more weight. I accomplish a higher percentage of the items on my handwritten lists than my electronic ones. Plus when you handwrite you can doodle and be creative, and our lists are one of the everyday places where we can be creative.Read More
Those of you who follow my work know that I fell in love with South America in 2009 and spent six months in Brazil in 2010 (and then went on to Colombia and Argentina). Those travels are the subject of the memoir I’m writing now.
My book Quirkyalone had already been published in Brazil in 2005 and now the concept is getting even more attention in one of the fastest-growing economies in the world. Globo, Brazil’s largest national media channel did a 20-minute special on the global phenomenon of people embracing singlehood rather than treating it like a disease. I’m on at 1:12 (in English) telling the “creation story” of quirkyalone of how I first came up this this idea on New Year’s Day 2000—and then we have all kinds of stories and analysis about people living single and/or alone in Brazil, the US, Sweden, worldwide. A great special, especially if like me you have a sweet spot for that lilting, lyrical Brazilian Portuguese. Check it out here!
I will be on KCRW’s national news affairs program “To the Point” tomorrow Wednesday 11-12 with sociologist and fellow examiner of the modern human condition Eric Klinenberg. We’ll be talking about his excellent book Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone. The topic will be the growing global phenomenon of people living alone. As the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, I provide the on-the-ground commentator perspective as well as a global view from having interviewed so many quirkyalones. Let me be equally clear that although I am a kickass commentator on this trend and an advocate for quirkyalones and quirkytogethers everywhere (and I actually really love living alone), my heart is very open to finding my beloved and a future in which I might not live alone. Just had to throw that personal note in there!
I have a review of Eric’s book coming up and I have been so busy writing a book of my own I haven’t been posting much, but this too will come.