My story

Hey. I’m glad you’re here. 

Hey! I’m Alexandra Cagen, but most people–or everyone, really–calls me Sasha. Sasha is a Russian nickname for Alexandra and I’ve got Urkainian in my roots.

I’m based in Buenos Aires, Argentina, but Oakland, California and Providence, Rhode Island are also homes for me.

For the last 20 years, I’ve been writing professionally–essays and books. I’ve published two books, Quirkyalone and To-Do List, that have garnered cult status and major media attention and won thousands of fans, and I’m at work on a third, a memoir I’m calling Wet.

I’m most well-known for coining the word “quirkyalone” and creating the quirkyalone movement. Since 2000, I have been helping people shed the feeling “there’s something wrong with me” through the quirkyalone movement when I lift them up with the opposite possibility: perhaps you aren’t settling. The core definition of quirkyalone is someone who prefers to be single rather than settle.

Over so many years, I haven’t stayed stuck in any fixed idea of what “quirkyalone” means. At the core, quirkyalone is about self-value, freedom, and openness, and it’s also about connecting with others authentically, quirks and all.

For the last six years, in addition to writing, I’ve working as a life coach, teacher and guide for those who are attracted to my perspective, both online and in person. I coach women (and some men) on a range of personal and professional issues, and I teach tango in Buenos Aires as a path of transformation. Tango changed my life and I know it can change your life too, even if you only learn it with me for just a week.


Official Bio

Here’s an official-sounding bio, suitable for cutting and pasting.

Sasha Cagen is the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us. She’s most well-known for founding the quirkyalone movement, which is all about supporting women and men who prefer to be single rather than settle, with a special focus on the empowerment of women to know their worth with or without a man in their lives.

Her work as a coach for women, writer, and movement-builder has been featured in more than 100 media outlets, including CNN, NPR, BBC, The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal.  

Through her coaching, Sasha helps single and divorcing women in the areas of life transition, career, being single/dating/relationship and sexuality.

Sasha invites women to join her in Buenos Aires for a 7-Day Tango Adventure to learn tango and tango as a metaphor for life and relationship. The goal: to use tango as a tool to learn about themselves and reconnect to their sensuality and confidence.

Sasha grew up in Cranston, Rhode Island, attended college in New York City, and then spent 13 years in the San Francisco Bay Area before she quit a tech job and moved to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Now she lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where she enjoys the city’s dynamic culture and tango scene. Visit her online at

Writing what’s real

In my books Quirkyalone and To-Do List I combine the deeply personal with the sociological and cultural. I look at taboo topics that we rarely speak about. My readers tell me they have a “Thank god it’s not just me” reaction to my work.

My first two books are books of essays. The upcoming book is a memoir.

My books are available on Amazon and wherever fine books are sold. You can learn more about my books here.

Coaching for the modern single woman

Confidence and a turned-on life

Through my private coaching practice, I help women around the world in the areas of self-respect, self-care, boundary-setting, and generally in the areas of career, love and relationships and creating a life for yourself as a single woman. Most of my clients are smart, successful single women who identify with the “quirky” in quirkyalone, the movement I created.

I help my clients let go of insecurities and baggage around being single, own their full worth and get clear about what they want in love and career and then create it. I also talking to my clients about sex and sensuality. There’s nothing more fun for me than helping someone have a great sexual or sensual experience. 😉

When I coach a woman I take everything I have learned through my own journey, and combine this with everything I know as the author of Quirkyalone and coach to thousands of single women.

My approach is different than the typical dating or love coach and many therapists. I deeply value the personal growth that happens through the single experience. I also focus on empowering and healthy sexuality to help you discover a turned-on life whether you’re single or in a relationship and meet your needs for sensuality.

While we may focus on dating and relationship, we always focus on you you living your fullest life single or partnered.

I also take a stand for self-worth by helping women marry themselves and I’ve married myself too! Marrying yourself is not a replacement for conventional marriage nor is it a barrier to relationship. It’s a concrete way to make a deep commitment to love and honor yourself and treat yourself as you would like a partner to treat you. Talking about your self-marriage can be part of our coaching if you feel drawn to the concept of a ritual of self-love. You can learn more about self-marriage here.

We work together via Skype so my clients are truly international in Europe, South America, Australia, and the US.

Interested in exploring coaching with me? Write me a message here.

Transformative tango adventures

Tango for transformation

I started dancing tango in 2010 in Cali, Colombia, the world capital of salsa (!), and since then, tango totally changed my life. I use tango as a tool for transformation in my coaching because tango was so powerful for me, and I know it can change your life too. (Even if you only learn tango with me for one week.)

Since 2014, I have created transformative tango holidays for women in Buenos Aires–both as group and private experiences.

Tango is a way of learning connection to yourself and to a partner, and you get to learn these lessons through your body. I’ve found that when you learn things through your body they stick in a different way than they do from talking about them alone. I have helped dozens of women become more confident and self-aware, and reconnect to themselves and their sensuality through tango. The positive effects of learning tango are many–you can become more confident at work and in your relationships. It was just a hunch I had that I could use tango to help women change their lives. And it’s turned out to be true!

Want to find out more about how tango can spark you? Check here to learn more about the 7-Day Tango Adventure Holidays I’ve created in Buenos Aires.



  • Where are you from? Born: Providence. Raised in Cranston, Rhode Island. Spent most of my adult life in the Bay Area, first San Francisco, then Oakland.
  • Where are you now? In 2017, I’m primarily in Buenos Aires with some time in the states. I will be in Europe in July and August.
  • Where did you go to school?  I was educated at a public high school in Cranston, then went to Amherst College, then completed my BA in American Studies (history, sociology, women’s studies, history of sexuality) at Barnard College, Columbia University.
  • Where did you do your coach training? CTI. I have done heaps more training in tango, psicotango, tantra, taoist sexuality, orgasmic meditation, and trauma healing. I also use all my training in memoir to help clients as well with memoir prompts to help you reimagine the story you tell yourself about you.
  • What’s a quirkyalone? Quirkyalone is a word I coined back in 2000 to mean a person who can enjoy being single and prefers to wait for the right person rather than settling. There’s also “quirkytogether,” the state of being quirkyalone in a relationship, and of course, the quirkyslut.
  • Wait, you’ve spent 17 years supporting single women. Does that mean you can only be single? No! Quirkyalone was never about perpetual singlehood. It’s about valuing yourself while  cultivating relationships that you want to be in.
  • Aren’t you the one who married herself? Yes, and it’s an open marriage! Be sure to watch the amazing Nightline documentary on self-marriage where I talk about the radical invitation of self-marriage.
  • When is Wet going to be out? I wish I knew! This book has been the longest creative project of my life, but it’s going to be worth it. Stay tuned and sign up for the special Wet list.
  • What are you up to now? For 2017, my priorities are writing a second draft of Wet, teaching transformative tango and supporting my wonderful coaching clients via Skype.
  • How do we stay in touch? Sign up for my newsletter Sasha’s List. That’s where the good stuff happens between you and me in your inbox.