Hi! I’m Sasha Cagen.

I’m a writer and a life coach for women (and some cool sensitive men) who want to love and stay true to themselves, never settle, and have fun.

Since 2000, I’ve been helping women and men find happiness within themselves through my quirkyalone movement. That movement empowers both single and partnered people to love and connect with themselves.

My work as a coach, writer, and movement-builder has been featured in dozens of media outlets, including CNN, NPR, BBC, The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal. 

My book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics launched a movement by putting a new spin on singledom for people who prefer to be single rather than settle. Quirkyalone is for for people who cherish their solitude, want to find a mate, but who would rather be alone than settle for just anyone.

My second book To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us provides a window into our souls via our to-do lists and the stories behind them. This book grew out of To-Do List magazine and it’s a book any glazomaniac (list lover) should own.

I’m the daughter of a newspaper copyeditor/lawyer and a public health planner, the graduate of an Ivy League university, and I grew up in suburban Rhode Island but I could never quite get on board with the way that adulthood is supposed to unfold. I was always naturally prone to following my own path — full of risks — as opposed to the safe road that unfurled if it didn’t feel right or authentic. That spirit of adventure has led me to South America where I am still focused on projects I love–which now include writing books, making videos, inventing words and transformative travel programs, and working on a deep, playful level with my life coaching clients.

As you can see, I like to invent stuff and I have a lifelong love affair with creativity. Among my recent creations are the Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires, which allows you to learn about yourself and healthy relationships through the metaphor of tango, and pussywalking, which helps you (if you’re a woman!) tap into the natural power of your sexuality.

I’m at work on a new memoir called Wet. It’s my own tale of healing sexual trauma through experiences of sensuality and it’s also about letting go of the plan and creating my own turned-on life as a woman in ways I never, ever could have predicted.

This book is on the way–I’m currently finishing a second draft. The book will be more than juicy. It will be wet.

As a writer, I believe in telling true stories well and sharing new and liberating ideas with you. I love what Anais Nin wrote in her book In Favour of the Sensitive Man: “Why one writes is a question I can answer easily, having often asked it myself. I believe one writes because one has to create a world in which one can live.”

I believe in honesty, authenticity, the power of vulnerability, self-love, love, compassion, creativity (of course!), healthy sexuality, pleasure and fun (definitely), and the power of people coming together for a common cause.


Origin of name: My formal name is Alexandra Cagen, but most people–or everyone, really–calls me Sasha. Sasha is a Russian nickname for Alexandra and I’ve got Ukrainian in my roots.

Hometown: I grew up in Cranston (aka Creaaannnnston), Rhode Island, a suburb of Providence, just an hour from Boston.

Education: Cranston High School East (a public high school), then Amherst College (where I was quite unhappy), then Barnard College (where I was happier), then the school of life in entrepreneurial Silicon Valley and writerly San Francisco, then CTI coach training and the school of life in Buenos Aires

Current city: Buenos Aires. Oakland, California and Providence, Rhode Island are also homes for me.

Favorite things: Wandering Paris. Tango. Talking about tango. Tangasms. A refrigerator full of food. A good night of sleep. Good friends. A good story. My clients (who are truly extraordinary people I feel privileged to work with).

Where I discovered tango: Cali, Colombia, the world capital of salsa, during my “life churn” which I ditched my dry life in Silicon Valley for a wetter existence in South America. You can read about that in my upcoming memoir and hear the story in this podcast.

My books

The best way to get to know me better is to read my books.


Watch this video for an intro to me and my work.

Anderson Cooper is pretty annoying in this interview but you will still get a good introduction to quirkyalone here!

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