My story

Hey. I’m glad you’re here. 

Hey! I’m Alexandra Cagen, but most people–or everyone, really–calls me Sasha. Sasha is a Russian nickname for Alexandra and I’ve got Ukrainian in my roots.

I’m based in Buenos Aires, Argentina, but Oakland, California and Providence, Rhode Island are also homes for me. I grew up in Cranston, Rhode Island, attended college in New York City, and then spent 13 years in the San Francisco Bay Area before I quit a tech job and moved to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Now I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where I’m working on a memoir, coaching my clients, usually via Skype, and leading transformative tango workshops.

I’m the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (2004) and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us (2007). I’m most well-known for founding the quirkyalone movement, which is all about supporting women and men who prefer to be single rather than settle, with a special focus on the empowerment of women to know their worth with or without a man in their lives.

My work as a coach for women, writer, and movement-builder has been featured in more than 100 media outlets, including CNN, NPR, BBC, The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal.

I coined the word “quirkyalones” to describe romantics who prefer to be single rather than settle back in 2000, and that was a while ago. Being a constantly growing and changing person myself, I haven’t stayed stuck in any fixed idea of what “quirkyalone” means. Of course you also have “quirkytogether” and the “quirkyslut.” At the core, quirkyalone is about self-value, freedom, and openness, and it’s also about connecting with others authentically, quirks and all.

For the last six years, in addition to writing, I’ve working as a life coach, teacher and guide for those who are attracted to my quirky perspective.


In my books Quirkyalone and To-Do List I combine the deeply personal with the sociological and cultural. I look at taboo topics that we rarely speak about. My readers tell me they have a “Thank god it’s not just me” reaction to my work.

My first two books are books of essays. The upcoming book is a memoir, tentatively titled Wet. I’ve been at this work for five years and it feels like the work of a lifetime.

ebooks are available on Amazon and wherever fine books are sold.


In addition to writing, I also work as a professional life coach. I help my clients own their full worth and get clear about what they want in love and career and then create the lives they want, step-by-baby-step, with accountability and support.

When I coach a woman I take everything I have learned through my own journey, and combine this with everything I know as the author of Quirkyalone and coach to thousands of single women.

While we may focus on dating and relationship, we always focus on you you living your fullest life single or partnered. My approach is different than the typical dating or love coach and many therapists. I deeply value the personal growth that happens through the single experience.

Through my Wet coaching I help women reconnect to their authentic sensuality and sexuality whether they are single or partnered.

I also take a stand for self-worth by helping women marry themselves and I’ve married myself too! Marrying yourself is not a replacement for conventional marriage nor is it a barrier to relationship. You can learn more about self-marriage here.

Interested in exploring coaching with me? Write me a message here.

Tango for Transformation

Travel and tango are both powerful tools for transformation so I use both in my coaching practice. Since 2014, I have offered transformative tango holidays for women in Buenos Aires–both as group and private experiences.

I am a big believer in the body-mind connection and when you learn something for yourself through dance, it sticks.

Check here to learn more about the 7-Day Tango Adventure Holidays I’ve created in Buenos Aires.



  • Where are you from? Born: Providence. Raised in Cranston, Rhode Island. Spent most of my adult life in the Bay Area, first San Francisco, then Oakland.
  • Where are you now? In 2017, I’m primarily in Buenos Aires with some time in the states. I will be in Europe in July and August.
  • Where did you go to school?  I was educated at a public high school in Cranston, then went to Amherst College, then completed my BA in American Studies (history, sociology, women’s studies, history of sexuality) at Barnard College, Columbia University.
  • Where did you do your coach training? CTI. I have done heaps more training in tango, psicotango, tantra, taoist sexuality, orgasmic meditation, and trauma healing. I also use all my training in memoir to help clients as well with memoir prompts to help you reimagine the story you tell yourself about you.
  • What’s a quirkyalone? Quirkyalone is a word I coined back in 2000 to mean a person who can enjoy being single and prefers to wait for the right person rather than settling. There’s also “quirkytogether,” the state of being quirkyalone in a relationship, and of course, the quirkyslut.
  • Wait, you’ve spent 17 years supporting single women. Does that mean you can only be single? No! Quirkyalone was never about perpetual singlehood. It’s about valuing yourself while  cultivating relationships that you want to be in.
  • Aren’t you the one who married herself? Yes, and it’s an open marriage! Be sure to watch the amazing Nightline documentary on self-marriage where I talk about the radical invitation of self-marriage.
  • When is Wet going to be out? I wish I knew! This book has been the longest creative project of my life, but it’s going to be worth it. Stay tuned and sign up for the special Wet list.
  • What are you up to now? For 2017, my priorities are writing a second draft of Wet, teaching transformative tango and supporting my wonderful coaching clients via Skype.

Keep in touch

Two ways!

Sign up for my newsletter Sasha’s List. This is a must! Why? People love my emails. They tell me that all the time.

Follow me on Instagram. I have fun posting photos from my life, travels, thought-meanderings and women’s retreats.