My story

Official Bio

Here’s an official-sounding bio, suitable for cutting and pasting.

Sasha Cagen is the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us. She’s most well-known for founding the quirkyalone movement, which is all about supporting women and men who prefer to be single rather than settle, with a special focus on the empowerment of women to know their worth with or without a man in their lives.

Her work as a coach for women, writer, and movement-builder has been featured in more than 100 media outlets, including CNN, NPR, BBC, The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal.  

Through her coaching, Sasha helps single and divorcing women in the areas of life transition, career, being single/dating/relationship and sexuality.

Sasha invites women to join her in Buenos Aires for a 7-Day Tango Adventure to learn tango and tango as a metaphor for life and relationship. The goal: to use tango as a tool to learn about themselves and reconnect to their sensuality and confidence.

Sasha grew up in Cranston, Rhode Island, attended college in New York City, and then spent 13 years in the San Francisco Bay Area before she quit a tech job and moved to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Now she lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where she enjoys the city’s dynamic culture and tango scene. Visit her online at

Writing what’s real

Since I was nine, I’ve been writing and publishing essays. Writing is an artistic and spiritual practice for me because writing for me is all about getting to the truth–and the little-spoken truths that connect us as human beings.

To get to know me and my writing, read my books Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us. You can also check out this stories and essays page to read my famous original Quirkyalone essay and essays ranging from, “Is Tango Better than Sex?” to “How It Feels to Watch Trump as a Sexual Abuse Survivor.”

My readers tell me they have a strong reaction to my work confirming, Thank God, I’m not the only one who feels that way.

My most important writing project now is Wet, a memoir. To stay connected with me and my writing be sure to sign up for my newsletter Sasha’s List.

Accompanying your evolution

In 2010 I ran away from a Silicon Valley job to travel in South America.

I went to Brazil in search of happiness. Many stories, much transformation, and much healing from my deepest childhood issues ensued from that decision, and that’s the tale I am telling in Wet.

When I returned to California I didn’t want to go back to a product manager job in Silicon Valley.

I took my innate writerly ability to observe and heal and trained as a life coach. I don’t really like the term “life coach” because I am not your average coach. I don’t post inspirational sayings, for example. I’m more into the deep and practical nitty-gritty of helping each of my individual clients change and get what she wants.

Since then, I’ve shifted from writer and Silicon Valley entrepreneur to writer and life coach. Now I work with women around the world via Skype on their matters of the heart, brain, and sexuality.

I offer my coaching services via Skype as a creative, practical yet deep alternative to therapy to my mostly women clients worldwide.

During my coach training program, we studied experience design. Experiences can open up people to new ways of seeing the world and themselves. In my coaching practice I design experiences for personal transformation.

Taking a Stand for Self-Worth

Since 2000, I have been helping people shed the feeling “there’s something wrong with me” through the quirkyalone movement when I lift them up with the opposite possibility: perhaps you aren’t settling.

The core definition of quirkyalone is someone who prefers to be single rather than settle.

Over so many years, I haven’t stayed stuck in any fixed idea of what “quirkyalone” means. At the core, quirkyalone is about self-value, freedom, and openness, and it’s also about connecting with others, quirks and all.

I also take a stand for self-worth by helping women marry themselves. Marrying yourself is not a replacement for conventional marriage, it’s a concrete way to make a deep commitment to love and honor yourself and treat yourself as you would like a partner to treat you. You can learn more about self-marriage here.

What I offer



  • Where are you from? Born: Providence. Raised in Cranston, Rhode Island. Spent most of my adult life in the Bay Area, first San Francisco, then Oakland.
  • Where are you now? In 2017, I’m primarily in Buenos Aires with some time in the states. Maybe some time in Europe.
  • Where did you go to school?  I was educated at a public high school in Cranston, then went to Amherst College, then completed my BA in American Studies (history, sociology, women’s studies, history of sexuality) at Barnard College, Columbia University.
  • Where did you do your coach training? CTI. I have done heaps more training in tango, psicotango, tantra, taoist sexuality, orgasmic meditation, and trauma healing. I also use all my training in memoir to help clients as well.
  • What’s a quirkyalone? Quirkyalone is a word I coined back in 2000 to mean a person who can enjoy being single and prefers to wait for the right person rather than settling. There’s also “quirkytogether,” the state of being quirkyalone in a relationship, and of course, the quirkyslut.
  • Wait, you’ve spent 17 years supporting single women. Does that mean you can only be single? No! Quirkyalone was never about perpetual singlehood. It’s about valuing yourself while  cultivating relationships that you want to be in.
  • Aren’t you the one who married herself? Yes, and it’s an open marriage! (Self-marriage, like quirkyalone, is not really about being single — it’s about creating a commitment and even integration ceremony to vow to treat yourself as you always hoped a partner would treat you.)
  • When is Wet going to be out? I wish I knew! This book has been the longest creative project of my life, but it’s going to be worth it. Stay tuned and sign up for the special Wet list.
  • What are you up to now? For 2017, my priorities are writing a second draft of Wet, teaching transformative tango and supporting my wonderful coaching clients via Skype.
  • I want to date Sasha. Is she available?  Yes. Available as of March 2017 😉 This has to be said because people can get confused by quirkyalone and self-marriage. Being quirkyalone and having married myself help me (and others) be in a healthy, awesome relationship.