My story


Hi! I’m Sasha Cagen.

I’m a writer and a life coach for single women who want to love and stay true to themselves, never settle, and have fun.

My work as a coach for women, writer, and movement-builder has been featured in dozens of media outlets, including CNN, NPR, BBC, The New York Times, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal. 

My book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics launched a movement by putting a new spin on singledom for people who prefer to be single rather than settle. Quirkyalone is for for people who cherish their solitude, want to find a mate, but who would rather be alone than settle for just anyone.

My second book To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us provides a window into our souls via our to-do lists and the stories behind them. It’s a book any glazomaniac (list lover) should own.

My team and I weeklong Tango Adventures in Buenos Aires using tango as a metaphor for life and relationship and a tool for transformation. There’s no better way to find yourself again than through dancing. For those who want to work with me directly, I offer the Tango + Transformation coaching program. I love to help you uncover what tango can teach you for your life for your confidence, relationships, and sensuality.

I’m at work on a new memoir called Wet. It’s my own tale of healing sexual trauma through experiences of sensuality and it’s also about letting go of the plan and creating my own turned-on life as a woman in ways I never, ever could have predicted.

This book is on the way–I’m currently finishing a second draft. The book will be more than juicy. It will be wet.

As a writer, I believe in telling true stories well and sharing new and liberating ideas with you. I love what Anais Nin wrote in her book In Favour of the Sensitive Man: “Why one writes is a question I can answer easily, having often asked it myself. I believe one writes because one has to create a world in which one can live.”

I believe in honesty, authenticity, the power of vulnerability, self-love, love, compassion, creativity (of course!), healthy sexuality, pleasure and fun (definitely), and the power of people coming together for a common cause.

In addition to being a writer and coach, I’ve also done a lot of activism for causes I believe in, whether that’s labor rights or working to preserve our democracy in the U.S.


Origin of name: My formal name is Alexandra Cagen, but most people–or everyone, really–calls me Sasha. Sasha is a Russian nickname for Alexandra and I’ve got Ukrainian in my roots.

Hometown: I grew up in Cranston (aka Creaaannnnston), Rhode Island, a suburb of Providence, just an hour from Boston.

Education: Cranston High School East (go Thurderbolts!), then Amherst College, then Barnard College, then the school of life and CTI coach training

Current city: Buenos Aires. My passion for tango led me to live in Buenos Aires. Oakland, California and Providence, Rhode Island are also homes for me. Right now I’m on the lookout for the place where I’ll be sinking roots.

Favorite things: Wandering Paris. Tangasms. A refrigerator full of food. A good night of sleep. Good friends. A good story.

Origin of quirkyalone: A kissless New Year’s eve. You can read about it in Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics.

Where I discovered tango: Cali, Colombia, the world capital of salsa. You can read about that in my upcoming memoir and hear the story in this podcast.

My books

The best way to get to know me better is to read my books.


Here’s a video where you can get to know me and what I’m up to in 2018.

Selected Press 


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