For many people making changes gets harder once they are niched in careers and the place they live. Inertia sets in in adulthood. Are you as open to change now in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, or 70s as you were in your 20s?
To make a big change in life – a move, a career or job change, a relationship change (leaving a relationship, deciding you want one, or even committing to being OK with being single) – requires effort and moving through fear.
After talking with a client about the possibility of making a scary change, and reflecting on my own life (which has been full of leaps, and I am sure there will be more) it seems to me there is a key ingredient in the decision to move out of the comfort zone and risk trying something new. You have to ask yourself what makes you excited/engaged enough about the possibility on the other side to get through the fear, work and pain of change. The why, really. The why that would make you feel good and even excited.
What gives you a tingly feeling in your body, or even a calm glow of happiness when you think about the possibilities on the other side of the change? You have to anchor into those feelings to move through the fear and stuckness that can set in in the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond.
I find in my own life and in the lives of my clients that once people start making changes it gets easier to make more. Believe me I hate moving so I know it’s painful to box up your whole life, for example.
But generally it’s worth it because every change is a chance to ask your heart and soul what it wants and what feels alive.
We valorize sticking with one thing for life but I do believe we need new challenges to stay fresh and engaged in life.
PS: I just heard MIchelle Obama in conversation with Oprah to celebrate the release of her memoir Becoming. Michelle explained the title this way. Michelle Obama doesn’t think it’s a good idea to ask kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” because that question plants the idea that you will be one thing when you grow up. When in fact, to stay alive, we are always becoming something or someone new. I think we are saying something similar. Don’t stop becoming.
If you want help with making changes, you’re welcome to check and see if I am taking on new coaching clients.