Attention single and divorcing women: there’s a creative alternative to therapy that can help you start living a life you’ll love…

cropped-quirkycoachingcommunity.jpg Feeling dry? Stuck in a rut with work, dating, sex, or the lack thereof? Forget what feels fun for you?

As the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, I’ve always taken a stand for single women not settling. I’ve been doing this work since 2000.

I do the same for you in my life-coaching practice one-on-one with the focus on you!

Have you been in one of these places?

  • Do you feel weighed down by societal expectations and negative self-talk about how it’s “supposed to be” for someone of your age?
  • Is there something you want to do, or a change you want to make, but you lack accountability and support to make it happen?
  • Do you worry it’s too late for a career change, a divorce, a move, or whatever it is you really want deep down?
  • Would you like to genuinely enjoy being single and at the same time be open to finding the right partner? Or are negative droning thoughts about being single and the fear of being alone making that difficult?
  • Do you miss sex, sexuality, and feeling sensual? Do you want that turned-on feeling back in your life without judgment from yourself or anyone else.

Maybe You’ve Tried To Work Through This Yourself But Have Remained Stuck In The Status Quo For Years

  • The therapist was okay but you just vented and didn’t see the change you long for. Self-help books gave you strategies but they are not tailored for you and your unique needs and situation.
  • Your friends are conservative or traditional, or they are so busy with family you haven’t been able to go deep with them. Talking to friends is good but there are certain things or a certain depth of things you can’t expect them to take on. They might judge you or not simply understand.
  • A psychic might give you some good ideas or direction but it’s not a structured process to help you take risks, make changes and get things done.
  • You can’t see yourself and your own patterns because you are so wrapped up in them. You are not objective about yourself or your situation. You also don’t have anyone to hold you accountable.

You need a process with structure with enough freedom to create and discover the person you are becoming, the person you want to be, the person deep down you really are.

My approach is deep and creative while practical process to help you step-by-step to …

  • Take risks to find out what really lights you up at work and elsewhere, so you feel you are living life to the fullest, whatever that looks like for you
  • Make changes in your work life by discovering what authentically lights you up, and then finding opportunities in those areas
  • Take advantage of the freedom you have to make being single feel good so you so you can hold out for someone you want to be with. We also talk about patterns that might be getting in your way with dating and how to change them.
  • Empower yourself with self-love and self-care, so you can be patient with your own process and be at peace with yourself
  • Get clear on what really matters for you, so when you feel on target with your life when you wake up in the morning

Hi, I’m Sasha Cagen, And I Help Women Get Wet!
What does that mean?

Through my coaching practice, I provide a unique, deep, creative, and action-oriented alternative to therapy to help you make lasting change.

When you work with me, you get personalized guidance from a woman who has a fierce will to live life to the fullest. A coach and guide who is independent minded: someone who’s not lockstep with any set societal idea of what life should be, who can help free you from glossy propaganda to find what is really true and right for you.

We will start by getting clear about the goals of our work together, and then I will help you to achieve those goals step-by-step.

Between sessions you will be doing “playwork,” this is the personalized process and accountability you’ve been needing to help make these changes tangible in your life.

No matter what goals you choose to focus on, I will help you to stay true to yourself and live a turned-on life.

Watch this video to get a sense of me and my coaching style. . . and how I’ll help you Get Wet!

To better understand “wet” you can also listen to this podcast I did with the fine ladies at “Fuck Dating.”

Here are the areas I help my clients with:

  • Life transition
  • Work + career change
  • Embracing being single ( + letting go of “single shame”)
  • Finding more fun in your life, whether you are single or partnered
  • Finding your “wetness” (this is about sexuality and sensuality and so much more–it’s also about your confidence and creativity.)
  • Recovering from breakup or divorce to not only survive but thrive and discover who you are and what you want now
  • Creative coaching to help you with your projects and businesses too (many of my clients are creative types or entrepreneurs)

“I’ve worked with a coach for the last 10 years— but working with Sasha has taken coaching to a whole new level. Aside from the fact that Sasha is the first woman to ask me to listen to my pussy — (as well as my mind, heart and gut) Sasha has a unique style of coaching— a natural. She assigns “playwork” which she reads thoroughly before and after sessions, which makes sessions less of a “catch-up” and more of a “dig in” to what is transpiring. Sasha isn’t a “yes person”— she challenges you, directs the conversation back to where it needs to go, keeps you on track, and always in the most compassionate and collaborative way. I recommend her highly. I look forward to every session and know that after them— I will have leaped forward in attitude, courage, and confidence.”–Carrie, Asheville, North Carolina

“I’d done therapy in the past, but working with Sasha felt more actionable and relatable. The biggest change since we started working together is that I’ve become bolder. Now, I’m actually dating, which is completely new for me. I’m meeting new people more frequently, too. In the last month I’ve met several men that I’ve seen multiple times: I cannot emphasize enough how that would never have happened for me before working with Sasha. If you are considering working with Sasha, DO IT (all capital letters and tons of emphasis)! You will see so much change in even a short amount of time. Sasha has a gift for helping people quickly realize what they want and why they’re holding themselves back from getting it.”—Lauren, San Francisco

“With Sasha’s easy-going, enthusiastic and supportive nature, I gained so much awareness of myself. As a result of working with Sasha, my confidence in myself was sky-high: I changed careers, restarted dating in an open/honest way and I joined a local tango community. I owe much of my new outlook on life and ways of interacting with others to Sasha. I have peace, satisfaction and a true view of my worth. If you are stuck or just can’t get rid of a nagging feeling that your life is moving by without you, Sasha can help like no others.”–Carissa, Tampa, Florida

Who I Work With
My clients are mostly women, and they range in ages from twentysomething to sixtysomething, and they live all over the world: the U.S., Europe, Canada, Australia, and South America.

Here are some clues that we could be a good match:
You identify with or aspire to being quirkyalone, a person who prefers to be single rather than settle, whether you are currently single, in a relationship, or coming out of a relationship.

You want to be a full woman with a fully expressed life and make bold choices for your life whether you are single or coupled.

Bonus: You like the idea of getting wet

After coaching one-on-one with Sasha, I feel a lot more confident embracing who I am and the idea that being single can be just as celebratory as being in a relationship. (Although I like to think of being single as being in a relationship with myself.) There is no sense in feeling “single shame.” I’m also not settling!“–Amanda, Portland, Oregon

“Sasha, You’ve been on my mind so much in the last two weeks. On February 4th, I got married. To the man I met right at the end of our work together. I feel like I’m getting everything I ever wanted!! Love!”–Barbara, Gainesville, Florida

“I began working with Sasha at a very challenging time of transition in my life. I had left my job, run off to live and work at a yoga retreat center for a year, and faced the final dregs of demons that still had their grubby, little claws stuck in me.

When I returned to the Bay Area, I needed help integrating all that I had learned, and all the ways I had begun to shift things in my life, into a new framework. Sasha helped guide me with wisdom, compassion, and humor, helping me to continue to make small shifts, set manageable goals, and to practice self-care. I always felt Sasha was listening carefully, not only to what I was saying, but also to how I was saying it. She could hear in my voice when I was lit up and when I was riddled with insecurity. She has a way of gently reflecting back what I most needed to hear to help me move forward on my journey.

I think back on our work together now and see myself as some kind of female Huckleberry Finn, floating down the river on a rudimentary raft. I have the paddle and I’m moving with the current, and Sasha provided that cool breeze at my back that made the going that much more fluid and sweet.”–Ivy, Oakland, Calif. (see review on Yelp.)

How it works
We’ll start with an initial consultation call, which includes drafting the top two or three things you want to focus on in your life right now.

Then, if we agree that it’s a good fit, we schedule our Skype sessions. Typically we meet 2x a month.

A weekly Skype session option is available if you are going through a bumpy time of transition and need more support.

I work with my clients via Skype so you can do this work from your own home and live anywhere in the world. We find times that work for both of us.

All my creativity and intuition from years as a coach, writer, and entrepreneur is at your service, as you work toward achieving the goals you define. I also work with some clients in person in Buenos Aires, and many clients come to learn tango with me here.

Along with our Skype sessions, I create what I like to call playwork for you. Playwork is totally personalized new practices and experiments to help you live out the inner stuff we go deep on in a Skype session. Often the playwork is some sort of adventure to help you live these new concepts productively and getting out of your comfort zone.

Some examples of playwork:

  • writing reflections
  • making a checklist to help guide your “yes” and “no” to opportunities or men
  • facing a fear
  • punching pillow
  • going to a salsa class
  • pussy-focused walking (you’ll learn what this is)
  • going over a dating profile
  • agreeing to have–and having–a challenging conversation
  • doing art (making a collage)
  • going to events and reporting back
  • looking in a mirror and saying “I’m valuable”
  • list of things you are proud about in your life
  • presentations, look over a pitch, or practicing a pitch
  • rewriting automatic interpretations (internal monologues)

If we are doing creative coaching together, the playwork will be the work you do to advance your creative projects.

The playwork is all assigned/based on the therapeutic work we do during the Skype sessions- it will be based on your dreams, real-life interpersonal conflicts, inner conflicts limiting beliefs, problems that need creative solutions, things you have been procrastinating on or are afraid to do, beliefs that aren’t serving you, and so on.

Don’t forget: I’m also the one who wrote a book on to-do lists, so we use that framework to turn your desired changes into a series of baby steps that make this all a series of doable, fun adventures that you will be checking off on your list, one by one.

How long do we work together?

Typically I work with my clients for a minimum of three months. This is the minimum, in my experience, it takes to see real change in your life.

My clients stay with me for as long as the work feels productive, sometimes as long as two years. The choice is up to you and we continually revise the goals of our working together. My method is fluid. We’ll come up with a structured process that is personal to you, not cookie- cutter.

There are two ways of working with me. . .each is an adventure.
Coaching + Playwork 2 Skype sessions per month + email support on Playwork.
Charged monthly, 10% discount available if you purchase a 3-month package up front (continued monthly as desired from there).

Coaching + Playwork + Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires Many clients come to Buenos Aires with me to reconnect with their sensuality, pleasure and joy and learn tango as a metaphor for holding your own space and setting boundaries while you connect with another in a relationship.

Why tango?

When I did my formal coach training program back in 2011, we learned about experience design and how experiences can open up people to new ways of seeing the world and themselves. I created the Tango Adventure as an example of experience design for personal transformation based on the experience of transformation that I myself found through tango.

Tango is a dramatic dance. The “dramatic” part of the tango adventure is the intimacy with a male stranger, intimacy meaning eye contact in the invitation and extended hugs in the dance. Learning how to connect to yourself while you connect with another can reveal a lot to you about yourself–about how you show up in the dance, and the dance of relationship and life.

The self-discovery and courage you find within yourself dancing abroad will help you apply what you’ve been working on, and further implement the changes we are making in your life at home. Long after the trip you will still be thinking about the way you physically show up, how often you make eye contact, what your posture is as you go through the world.

We also create a powerful sisterhood through the week together, and you’ll benefit from meeting other women who are attracted to my work.

Coaching clients receive a discount on the Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires to encourage you to deepen this work with me here. Inquire about this when we talk.

Sounds amazing, right? Our first steps…
The most important thing in choosing any coach or therapist is to make sure you that you feel understood and you feel a good connection with the person who is helping you.

I offer a free 20-30 minute initial consultation call for us to speak so se can see if we are a fit.

Want to explore coaching with me?
Go ahead and write me a message here.

Tell me a little bit about you and what you want to explore or get help with. If I believe there is a 90% chance I can help you with that area, I will reach out to you and we will schedule our call.

In the initial consult, we will discover whether we are a good fit and begin to draft the goals you want to work on together in the call.

Request an initial coaching consult here