Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

quirkyalone (kwur.kee.uh.lohn) n. adj.

A person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status. Also adj. Of, relating to, or embodying quirkyalones. See also: romantic, idealist, independent.

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

Are you a quirkyalone? Do you know someone who is?

Do you believe life can be prosperous and great with or without a mate?

Do you value your friendships as much as your romantic relationships?

Do gut instincts guide your most important decisions?

Are you often among the first on the dance floor?

Coupled or single, man or woman, social butterfly or shrinking violet, quirkyalones have walked among us, invisible until now. Through the coining of a new word, this tribe has been given a voice.

Meet the quirkyalones.

Read about:

The quirkyalone nation: where we live, what we do

Quirkytogethers (quirkyalones who have entered long–term relationships)

Sex and the single quirkyalone

Romantic obsession: the dark side of the quirkyalone’s romantic personality

Quirkyalones throughout history (profiles in courage)

“Of all of the books that I’ve read, Quirkyalone has definitely been one of the most important books for affirming my journey and cultivating self-acceptance. I’ve picked it up at many different moments in my life and it always brings so much wisdom and joy. So thank you for all that you’ve created, because it’s truly a gift!”–Caroline Leamon, Montreal
“Quirkyalone has been one of the books/forces/movements that saved me after my “big” breakup. It also helps me silence well meaning people who are telling me what I’m doing with MY love life. It’s so helpful to know that there are people out there who agree that just because I’m single doesn’t mean finding a partner should be my second full time job.”–Jana, 33, South Florida
“I never used to party. I was very much a wallflower and refused to do anything involving dancing. However, after reading the Quirkyalone book and becoming much more comfortable with the idea of who and what I was, my self-confidence rose and the very next social thing I went to, a wedding, I was dancing barefoot on the dance floor most of the evening.”—Ian Oliver, England
“I’m a sociology professor, and one of the courses I teach is Deviant Behavior. My first unit in that course is on various forms of non-conformity, and the main thing I try to get across is how people who question assumptions and traditions and who don’t fit in or follow all of the rules or norms can have a positive impact on society. One of the texts I require for this unit is your book, Quirkyalone.”–Aaron Culley – Associate Professor of Sociology – Wingate University, Wingate, North Carolina

Buy the book! Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

I appeared on CNN when Quirkyalone came out and chatted with Anderson Cooper.

Get your copy: Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

Praise from awesome people
“Cagen is up to something that could be as important for women (and men) as The Feminine Mystique was years ago: We aren’t just halves of couples; we are distinct individuals—as complete and potentially happy alone as we are with our families and lovers. Thank you, Sasha, for giving us this proud and thoughtful declaration of independence!”—Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America and Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America

“Ahh, the single life. Can it ever be as fulfilling as married life. or divorced life? The quirkyalones argue it can be all that and more.”—Anderson Cooper, CNN

“Bachelorettes = out, quirkyalones = in”—Washington Post

“Exhorts singles to ‘resist the tyranny of coupledom.'”—New York Times

What it’s all about
Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. We tend to be romantics. We prefer to be single rather than settle. In fact, the core of quirkyalone is the inability to settle. We spend a significant chunk of our lives single because we hold our relationships to a high standard; we actually enjoy single life too.

Are quirkyalones loners? Not necessarily. Quirkyalones value friendship highly. We’re a mix of extroversion and introversion, though some quirkyalones are more on the introvert side of the spectrum. We all need some solitude. Quirkyalones are often creative and need time alone to allow thoughts to fully form.

Fundamentally, quirkyalone isn’t so much about being alone as it is about connection: with yourself and others. It’s about liberating yourself from the expected road maps to discover your own. It’s about developing comfort with aloneness and recognizing that comfort is crucial to being with someone else.

The quirky in quirkyalone is really about authenticity. It’s about accepting yourself in all your quirky glory, and being fully yourself, whether you’re single or in a relationship.

The alone part is about willing to stand out from the crowd, to go to a wedding alone rather than go with a date, for example, out of social obligation. It’s about resisting the tyranny of coupledom, the prevailing notion that you must be in a relationship at all times in order to be happy.

It’s about preserving solitude in an era of hyperconnectivity so that you can be comfortable and full alone, and therefore fully present with another human being.

Quirkyalone is about:
– connection
– confidence
– being willing to go it alone and with friends rather than settling

Quirkyalone is not about:
– perpetual singlehood

A quirkyalone can also be quirkytogether (quirkyalone in a relationship).

Or a quirkyslut. A quirkyslut maintains high standards for a romantic relationship, but becomes more flexible for the Saturday (or even Tuesday) night encounter.

Quirkyalone lives on
Quirkyalone started back in 2000 and it continues to flourish as a movement drawing people to its message. Listen to this recent podcast interview I did where I shared the deeper meanings of quirkyalone, quirkytogether, and how I help my clients drop their single shame to create the lives they really want.

International Quirkyalone Day
International Quirkyalone Day (Feb. 14) is a DIY celebration of romantic, friendship, and independent spirit. International Quirkyalone Day is not anti-Valentine’s Day. It just happens to fall on the same day. Couples as well as singles are invited to attend.

International Quirkyalone Day is a grassroots movement. It’s been celebrated in over 40 cities across the four continents since 2003. Quirkyalone continues to grow and got a ton of press attention in Germany in 2015, so Anja Schuetz, a German quirkyalone, interviewed me on Quirkyalone Day 2015. You can learn more about IQD here.

Quirkyalone/Together Coaching
In addition to writing, I love to coach people to embrace the quirkyalone approach in their lives so they can live their best lives, single or partnered.

I help you drop your single shame so you can fully enjoy being quirkyalone, create the quirkytogether relationship you really want, and embrace your sensuality too (quirkyslut or wet style).

Check out my unique coaching programs created for people who resonate with quirkyalone here . . .

Some clients come and meet me in Buenos Aires to deepen all these learnings through tango, the ultimate partner dance. Yes, TANGO!


Sasha Cagen in Buenos Aires Hey, I'm Sasha Cagen. I'm the author of Quirkyalone + To-Do List, and a coach for women who provides a creative, action-oriented alternative to therapy. Since 2000, I've been helping single people shed that feeling "there's something wrong with me" while also helping people craft relationships where they don't lose their individual spark. I now live in Buenos Aires where I coach my clients via Skype worldwide and teach tango as a metaphor to help you reconnect with your sensuality and even find your own feminine power through a 7-day Tango Holiday in Buenos Aires. Want to get to know me? Read more here.

Come away with me to Buenos Aires

Discover yourself through a Tango Adventure in Buenos Aires.

Sasha on CNN + @Google

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