For the last two years, I have either been away for International Quirkyalone Day in Brazil or just returned from Argentina. And I was not in a place to throw a party when I had just come back from a year of travel . . .

So this year I revive the tradition of a live, in-person International Quirkyalone Day party in the Bay Area with this NINTH annual celebration of Quirkyalone Day.

Come find your quirkyalone (and quirkytogether and quirkyslut) brethren at:
Van Kleef’s
Tuesday, February 14
8 – 11 pm
1621 Telegraph Ave

International Quirkyalone Day is a do-it-yourself celebration of romance, friendship, and independent spirit. It’s a celebration of all kinds of love: romantic, platonic, familial, and yes, self-love.

International Quirkyalone Day is not anti-Valentine’s Day. It just happens to fall on the same day. Continue reading →

I adored this piece “French Feminists say Non to Mademoiselle“. I have written about my own discomfort about being called “ma’am” (ick, hate that word!) in this piece, “Ma’am vs. Miss” and want to replace it something something less matronly. I don’t expect that the US will ban “Ma’am” anytime soon. We already have the option of “Ms.” which the French lack. Continue reading →

My friend Jenny invited me; in an email and in the car on the way there, she warned me, “We can walk out early. I’m okay with that.” I didn’t read any of the links she sent in advance because I decided, “I want to do this blind.” Come what may. My social life in the Bay Area is a bit predictable. I am ready to be shocked and uncomfortable. And Jenny and I haven’t gotten to do enough fun stuff together lately.

The event was called “Uncomfortable Zones of Fun.” This monthly event has been going on for three years and it’s hosted by the legendary performance artist Frank Moore and his entourage of supporters over at the Temescal Arts Center in Oakland. Moore is most famous for being one of the NEA-funded artists targeted by Jesse Helms in the early 90s for making “obscene” art. Jenny and I walked in ten minutes early and we were the only ones there. I whispered, “Do you think we will be the only ones?” It would be higher stakes to walk out if we were the whole audience. Continue reading →

Coaching is about learning to tune into what you want, and clearing out the voices that tell you you can’t have it. This session my client didn’t want to talk about her career. That had been the primary focus working together. This time she wanted to talk about finding a new lover. So we switched gears for a session. Everything is connected. What we discover in her approach to looking for a lover could help us understand how she approaches moving forward in her career.

I asked her what she wanted in a lover, and what had worked in the past to find one? Dancing, she said. When she lived out west, she would go out dancing and amaze her friends with her ability to reliably pull in men. She had a sensual shrug in her shoulders. (She showed me over Skype and I could believe it.) Now she lives in New York and she had not been able to find the right kind of club to go dancing. The only places where people danced, she said, people were drunk and out to score or grope, and the dancing did not have the natural, uninebriated quality that she likes. Continue reading →