“Become yourself and go all the way.”–Lao Tzu
Hey, thanks for visiting my site!
I’m a writer, a life coach for women, and a transformative tango teacher living in Buenos Aires helping my clients here and via Skype worldwide. I’m also a tango guide and teacher who helps women reconnect with their confidence and sensuality through tango.
In my books I look at taboo topics we rarely speak about. . through writing about the deeply personal and mixing the personal with the sociological and cultural. My readers tell me they have a “Thank god it’s not just me” reaction to my work. In addition to writing books, I write personal essays. My essays have appeared in Vice, Wired, the Village Voice, Utne, San Francisco Chronicle, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, and many more.
Quirkyalone: It’s about self-love and being true to yourself, not being alone, actually
I’m most well-known for starting the quirkyalone movement back in 2000, which is all about recognizing our ability to create happiness whether we are single or coupled. As the New York Times puts it in 2016, “The single state itself is also now aspirational, with boosters like Sasha Cagen, the author behind the Quirkyalone blog and book.”
A lot of people get confused and think I’m just about supporting single people. That’s not it at all. I support you to be quirky and true to yourself. And to be “quirkytogether” too. And even to marry yourself if you feel called to do so! Self-marriage is not about being single–it’s about honoring yourself.
Here’s a video where you can see me chat with Anderson Cooper about quirkyalone back when my cult book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics first came out.
To-do lists, and what they reveal about us
My second book is To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soulmate, What Iur Lists Reveal About Us which was a follow-up to my popular magazine To-Do List.
Here you can see me give a talk at Google about some of my original research on our to-do lists and what they reveal about us.
My coaching (wet and quirkyalone with a dash of to-do lists)
I work with amazing women to help them stay true to themselves and lead turned-on lives. I work with my clients remotely via Skype, so my clients live all over the world.
Here’s a video where I talk about how I help my coaching clients.
I’m a proponent of self-marriage, not as a barrier to relationship or a commitment to celibacy (no, not at all!) but as a way to honor and commit to yourself through vows. I’ve been interviewed in many media about self-marriage since I was one of the first to popularize the concept in Quirkyalone.
. . . women who decide to take their own hand in marriage aren’t necessarily rejecting traditional family structures; in fact, many of the women interviewed for the Cosmopolitan piece said they hope to find a life partner in the future.
The self-marriage lot are, however, pushing back against the stigmatization of single women by proclaiming their independent lives as something worth celebrating. “Marrying yourself is a way to commit to your dreams,” said Sasha Cagen, a women’s empowerment coach who got married to herself three years ago. “It helps you go for the life you want if your life hasn’t fulfilled the storybook requirements.”–the New York Times, Women in the World, December 25, 2016
Tango: More than a dance, a way to heal and find yourself
I’ve been obsessed with tango since I discovered the dance on my “life churn” solo travel through South America. I actually discovered tango in Cali, the world capital of salsa. SInce then I have written about tango extensively and since 2014, I have taught a 7-Day Transformative Tango Holiday in Buenos Aires called the Tango Adventure.
Here’s a video inviting to you to learn tango with me in Buenos Aires. What if you could discover yourself through dancing?
When I was just beginning tango, I did something absurdly audacious. I gave a show in the place where I first ssaw tango, La Matraca, in Cali, Colombia, after only dancing for six weeks. You can see that show here.
And here’s me dancing in Buenos Aires in 2015 exploring “active” following from the traditionally female follow position.
I’m now at work on a memoir that’s tentatively titled Wet. Wet is a memoir, and on a literal level, it’s about a woman in her thirties who had literally dried up, sexually and soul-wise, working in Silicon Valley trying to regain her sexuality (wetness) and aliveness by going to Brazil, a country of sensual and alive people, and finding not only cultural blocks but internal blocks to feeling worthy of love, happiness until she finds the key to her healing by finding the courage to face the darkness in her past. That healing comes via undersanding herself through her posture in tango, the most intimate partner dance.
(This is all about me, of course, but I’m describing the narrator.) A universal, abstract question short enough to fit on a Post-it Note from this book: How do we heal from damaging incidents in the past? It’s also about, how do we heal and let go of shame to move forward?
This is a podcast conversation I did about WET with the ladies at “Fuck Dating”–listen to this to get a sense of what I mean by “Wet” vs. “juicy” and also some of the deep themes of boundaries, self-respect, shame and self-love I’m exploring in this book.