Vulnerability Is Worth It

Sharing my last blog post felt very raw and real. I felt a nervousness in my body click the publish button.

If you didn’t get the chance to read it, the post was a response to a woman who warned that if you don’t have serious relationships in your twenties, you will be at a disadvantage for the rest of your life. I didn’t have a “serious relationship” in my twenties (whatever that means, I’m still not sure to be honest).

Sharing that post with you felt like I was exposing myself. Even though many of you found me via Quirkyalone, I still feel vulnerable sharing things about my life that do not fit the norm.

Which is what I want to talk about: quirky vulnerability.

Many of you may be aware of Brene Brown’s beautiful work on vulnerability, and how sharing our vulnerability is a key to greater intimacy and joy. She writes about showing up authentically as who we really are: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

My underlying intention in sharing my own quirkiness is always the conversation that results.

In that conversation I find so much light.

I have been so happy reading the comments in response to that post on my own blog and on the Huffington Post. Reading the comments proved to me once again that it’s worth it to be vulnerable. I especially enjoyed reading stories of women who found authentic love later in life and voices like this: “The world is already skewed in favor of couples and families and it can be really difficult to find your own authentic life and voice as it is without someone perpetuating the fear that if you don’t find it in your twenties you’re just OVER, especially since it is NOT TRUE.”

When we share our quirks it gives permission to others to do the same. We become more free.

GetQuirky_LOGO_email_opt Sharing our quirkiness (our real unique selves, creativity, points of view, and reflections) is what we are going to do in my upcoming online course Get Quirky. We’re going to talk about singleness and relationships for one week of the course, but more than that, we are going to increase the quirky quotient in our whole lives and get practice being vulnerably quirky with each other.

Get Quirky is a monthlong course. It is going to be a mix of deep reflection and serious fun in appreciating what’s unique about ourselves and in the people and world around us. The intention is to increase our self-acceptance and acceptance of others, our daily sense of fun and wonder, which are just some of the gifts that I think an appreciation of the quirky brings us.

I created Get Quirky through my lifelong experiences as a writer and a researcher of the quirky in all of us in my books and from my experiences as a life coach. And why quirky and not just quirkyalone? That is the subject of another post, but I’ll say briefly here that I have become more and more fascinated with the “quirky” part of quirkyalone as the diamond in each of us. And polishing that diamond does not mean being alone–it means sharing who we are and connecting with others in a place that is vulnerable and real.

Early bird registration for the first session of Get Quirky will open soon in the next week. I invite you to hop on this list to get the first work to register and for access to a special discount. I hope you will join me for a journey of 30 days of quirky.

My core intuition (and I am a pretty intuitive person who follows intuitions to lead my life, case in point this recent move to Argentina which is going very well!) is that this program will be both fun and transformative for those who participate (including me!).

If you have any questions about Get Quirky, drop me a line.

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Sasha Cagen is the author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and To-Do List: From Buying Milk to Finding a Soul Mate, What Our Lists Reveal About Us. She coaches women on sex, dating/relationships and career via Skype from Buenos Aires where she also leads transformative tango vacations to help her clients reconnect to their confidence, sensuality and lust for life through tango.

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Sasha Cagen in Buenos Aires Hey, I'm Sasha Cagen. I'm the author of Quirkyalone + To-Do List, and a coach for women who provides a creative, action-oriented alternative to therapy. Since 2000, I've been helping single people shed that feeling "there's something wrong with me" while also helping people craft relationships where they don't lose their individual spark. I now live in Buenos Aires where I coach my clients via Skype worldwide and teach tango as a metaphor to help you reconnect with your sensuality and even find your own feminine power through a 7-day Tango Holiday in Buenos Aires. Want to get to know me? Read more here.

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